A Patristic Homily on Christian Marriage
Beloved brethren, God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. From the beginning He established order, and by order He preserves all things. When He created man and woman, He joined them before transgression, not in disorder, but in unity of life and purpose, in harmony of soul under God.
There was no shame in the beginning, because there was no rebellion. The will was upright, and the body obedient. Thus it is written: “The two shall be one.” This oneness signifies unity and indissolubility, not indulgence. Therefore the Lord Himself later proclaimed: “What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.” Divorce is strictly shunned, for it violates the order established by God from the beginning.
After the transgression, however, man fell from obedience, and with that fall came disorder. Desire—which had no place before—now inclined the will. The flesh no longer obeyed the soul with ease. In this state of infirmity, marriage was permitted as a remedy, not to restore Eden by nature, but to restrain disorder and preserve peace.
Yet God did not leave marriage in mere nature. In the fullness of time, Christ raised it to a sacrament. By this mystery, grace is given not only to sanctify the bond, but to govern every part of married life. The sacrament orders the household, strengthens fidelity, heals weakness, and grants the spouses the grace to live according to reason and to obey natural law, even where the wound of concupiscence remains.
Within this divinely ordered life, each has a place. The husband is established as head, charged with governance in sobriety and fear of God. The wife is called to live in reverent submission, not as one diminished, but as one ordered within unity, reflecting the Church’s obedience to Christ. Where this order is received in charity, peace abides; where it is resisted, harmony is broken.
Children are born into this order and are commanded to obey their parents, learning obedience toward God through obedience in the household. For obedience is the school of virtue and the guardian of peace.
The use of the marriage bed is permitted as a concession for weakness, not given as a command nor exalted as a good in itself. Its proper use must remain restrained, sober, and ordered to procreation alone, in accordance with natural law. Yet even here, the spouses do not rely on nature alone. The sacrament supplies grace, that passion may be governed, reason upheld, and the act itself remain subject to order rather than rule over it.
Nevertheless, children conceived through this union are not sanctified by generation, for the wound of concupiscence accompanies conception. Therefore the Lord ordained baptism, that those born of the flesh might be reborn of the Spirit. The Church alone sanctifies, for she is fruitful not by desire, but by the Word of God.
Behold, then, the higher pattern. The Church is a virgin, yet she bears innumerable children. Her fecundity is virginal, accomplished through preaching and baptism. This reflects both the purity of the beginning and the perfection of the age to come, where virginity reigns and all things are ordered under God.
Married spouses are therefore invited to ascend toward this perfection. Continence remains the ideal set before all, not as a condemnation of marriage, but as a witness that the spirit is called to rule the flesh. By restraint, prayer, simplicity of life, and mutual devotion to God, spouses imitate the holiness of the saints, including those who lived faithfully within marriage.
Let no one despise marriage, and let no one glorify indulgence. Let each receive the grace of his calling with discipline and humility. Where order is restored, peace returns. Where obedience is embraced, grace abides.
For God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His order does not change, and His grace is sufficient to heal what has been wounded. Amen.